Yet god forbid I should ever forget about it for one single second, or else I ran the risk of becoming an object of lust. I was never supposed to relish in that sexuality or obsess over my potential desirability in a conscious way. I was constantly reminded that my body was sexual and in need of covering. Purity culture told me that it was my responsibility to make sure my body was not a distraction to others, specifically the wandering male gaze of my classmates. Any thoughts about my body, my appearance, my devilish shoulders, were supposed to be shrouded in shame. This, of course, was one of the thoughts I wasn’t supposed to have. Sure, there were teachers at SRCS making the rounds to ensure we were leaving 6 inches between our bodies for Jesus.īut damn I looked good in my shoulder-bearing dress from Mervyn's. Prom for them was a dinner with non-secular music, cap-sleeve dresses, and no boy-girl touching whatsoever (or at least, that was the rumor).
Rincon Valley Christian was not so lucky. It was the one thing I wasn't supposed to want, but the heavy-handed focus on sexual denial had turned me in the complete opposite direction of my "true spiritual north."īack then I felt lucky to be at the “cool” Christian school, the one which sanctioned sleeveless frocks and allowed us to dance at all. Because, let’s face it, we were sexually repressed powder kegs, ready to explode. We were reminded to “leave room for Jesus” (6 inches, as it were), lest our awkward dance moves made us forget the omnipresence of our Heavenly Father. We were taught classic dances like waltz and, though it was a bit controversial, swing dancing. School dances were our rare deviation from strictly Christian culture, a part-secular breeding ground for sinful thoughts, of which I had many. Nothing amplifies sexual excitement, or shame, quite like purity culture - and our teachers damn well knew it. Great care was taken with high school dances to ensure no suggestive thoughts cropped up as we walked the fine line where the devil beckoned to us with his irresistible bass. Rulers were used to measure body space and skirt length, ensuring that these borderline-secular events remained pure. We had long been lectured on the sinful nature of “freak dancing,” and the proper distance required between our sets of genitals at all times. We knew the rules, knew the Lord was watching but when the lights turned down low, it was hard to keep our internal compasses pointed toward Jesus.
#One way jesus dance code#
School dances were an absolute minefield of sexual policing - our moral code seemed to escape us the moment Brian McKnight began playing on the gymnasium’s blown out speaker system. So they regulated us as best they could, enforcing strict dress codes and an alarmingly high chaperone-to-student ratio. Our parents expected a “normal” teenage experience with the added values of righteousness, respect, and responsibility (our school motto). They could have done away with school dances altogether, but we were Christians, not Amish. School dances were a source of endless ire for the teachers charged with our spiritual upbringing and education. At Santa Rosa Christian School, dancing was a gateway drug.
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